The Monkey's on My Back

There's nothing quite so enjoyable yet so terrifying as a good addiction. All of us have the, although most deny that we do. Some of us may not even know we have an addiction, so in order to shed some light on this little theory I've stumbled across I'm going to share some of my own with vices.

Top o' the list of my many, many addictions is smoking. Many smokers I know are aware that it is a poisonous, expensive habit that will ultimately result in one thing; death. These same people, and I am one of them, say time & time again that they're "going to quit." Who are they trying to kid? Yes, cigarettes have chemicals in them to get you hooked, but it's a little known scientific fact that after taking your last, luxurious drag, the bad stuff flushes out of your body leaving only the psychological problems of mind over matter. This brings me to my point...why do we knowingly smoke if it's so bad for us? I mean, it's not like it hasn't been a proven fact for what, almost 40 years? Why do people start in the first place? Harken back with me through the mists of time, to Ryan David Campbell @ the impressionable age of 14. I can clearly remember who I was with and where I was when I took that first magnificent puff...I knew from that moment on that this was something I liked and would be sure to do more of it....not too mention the cool factor...now, nearing my 28th birthday I have to admit that under it all, I'm probably that teen who thought smoking was cool....thus, the source of my continued habit.

My other big addiction in my short span of years on this planet is the cola nut, or rather what the cola nut metamorphisizes into....Coca-Cola. I have been heavily addicted to the darkest and sweetest of the soft drinks for as long as I can remember. i can recall being a child, mixing my coke with a glass of milk if you can believe it...just to clarify, i haven't kept up this practice, just ashcanned the milk. Growing up in the Campbell household, there was always a case of coke in our pantry and when it was reduced to half or less than half of a case, Mom or Dad rushed to store to get another one "just in case." Why, you may ask, would my parents allow their child to have such a terrible, teeth-rotting affliction from such a young age? Well, the answer is simple...they were addicted too, so addicted that it may have blinded them a little bit to the evils of the dark cola. There were some forms of control to reel the budding addiction in tho...for example we were only allowed one can of pop a day, and none before noon. The noon rule also applied to the weekends, but we were a family of hockey games, karate practices, and other such organized fun so most of the time we had a throw-caution-tp-the-wind-and-drink-up-me-hearties sort of attitude. I can't blame my parents for my ongoing love affair with coke, but I would like to go on record saying that if they had an alternative beverage present, maybe I would have been a different person today....say a dentist, or maybe even Prime Minister...maybe not. To me, anytime is a good time for a coke, (although I still adhere to noon rule) as it goes with everything 'cept maybe fruit....all I know is that when my dark master beckons, I heed its call.

So, there are the two biggest addictions in my life, laid bare for all to see. As I said @ the beginning of this entry, everyone has an addiction to something, but they might not even be conscious of it @ the time. There are many addictions out there peep's. Addictions to food, coffee, alcohol, and drugs are among the first that come to mind...but what about addictions to sex, televised sports, shopping, 900 numbers, video games, internet chat rooms, gambling, obsessive cleanliness, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So, next time you don't think you have an addiction, stop and take stock of your own habits...you may be surprised.

An example of an addiction that may shock and surprise you was during our recent vacation we had a stopover in Japan. While I was struggling to get my new taiwan dollars changed into yen, there was a man standing next to me checking in. During our interactions with the clerks, he asked the guy "Is there a gym in the hotel?" (insert roll of the eyes here) Well, it turns out that they in face did not have a gym in the hotel. The man asked if there were any gyms close to the hotel, to which the clerk responded "no." As the conversation continued, the gym guy became more and more upset, until he was downright distraught. The clerk behind the counter looked a little scared, as he was a little japanese man and gym guy was overly large. I decided to try and help the clerk out by saying to the guy "Hey guy, I can't get my money changed into yen, you can't workout tonight, but whaddya say we just take a breath and relax...we're on vacation after all." He looked at me with a wide-eyed hunger that only a true craving for something exposes and said "You don't understand. I need to go." and walked away. The point I'm trying to make is the guy didn't say "have to" or even "want to" he said "need." So here's where my addiction theory again rears its ugly head, follow me if you will. People who workout release a chemical compound called endorphins into their systems. Endorphins make you happy, kind of like taking a mild upper. So, would it not stand to reason that people who workout extensively are actually nothing more than endorphin-junkies? I know you're thinking, what's so wrong with being happy, and the truth is nothing. What gets me is that after a time, what if the only time you can feel happy is by continously working out? What happens to the behemoth who works out 6 days a week when he doesn't get his fix? I hope I'm not there to find out.

Once we've admitted to ourselves that we have an addiction, what do we do next? Well, if it's a negative behaviour, we usually try to seek outside help, either through people or "quitting" aids. Why the emphasis on quitting? Well, when one truly has an addiction, it never really goes away. It is simply replaced with another addiction that is healthier, or more socially-acceptable, because society has deemed it so. Take my smoking example again...I know in Canada, you pretty much have to be in your own house, in your bedroom, under a sheet to have a cigarette due to social pressure. Not the case say 10, even 5 years ago. Ok, using smoking as my model let's say to quit you take up chewing gum. Before you know it, you've quit smoking, but now you chew gum incessantly. You chew it at work, at home, in movie theatres, in the streets. Let's say every ex-smoker decided on this method...before you know, you'd have to buy a pack of gum a day, an expensive habit. The government would wise up and tax the hell out of it, then the laws would be changed and you'd have to be over 19 to buy a pack, and you'd have kids outside of convenience stores asking you "hey dude, can you buy me a pack of big red?". From this point, it wouldn't be long until you found yourself in the same situation, living in your bedroom to enjoy your habit.

Wow, what a downer of a blog, huh? You're probably thinking why is he writing about such a depressing topic? What happened to light and perky? Well folks, the truth is I have been considering giving up my beloved addictions as my birthday fast approaches, in an effort to make my life better. When I started to contemplate my reasons for starting and quitting, my head started spinning like a top so I thought I would share my musings. I would love to hear your thoughts on any addiction you might have, so post me a comment, or maybe some suggestions for replacement habits? Until next time faithful readers, good night and god bless.