travelling etiquette 101

travelling is a great way to gain a new perspective on life. it allows a person to see the bigger picture of this topsy-turvy world by providing us with opportunity to explore faraway places while testing ours mettle. i feel like everyone should have the chance to take in new customs and cultures at least at one point in their lives. Before you do though, i would to share some of my observations of the do's and don't's that i've seen from my fellow traveller's. the more....undesirable qualities. these quirky little idiosyncrasies seem to come out of the woodwork while people are travelling. my reason for doing this isn't to look down my nose at others because everyone has their little things, as i know i have mine, but rather to help my fellow expats to avoid some of the pitfalls along the way.

room to breathe

trying to keep it cheap is the focus of any backpacker's budget. this often means that you get what you pay for and no where is that discounted price more obvious then when it comes to space. whether on a plane, train, bus, etc it's important that at least a minimum level of personal space is allotted to each other. a great example pops to mind on an overnight bus in vietnam. in front of me was a big guy. not fat, but a muscle dude and tall and definitely much bigger than an average vietnamese bus seat. he pretty much took up 3/4 of the seats earmarked for 2 people. the person sitting beside him had to lean over into the aisle or be stuck rubbing sweaty arms with a stranger for 12 hours. eventually, the smaller guy beat a hasty retreat and found a seat some where else, leaving the mountain of a man to stretch out even more. the key to solving this problem is to stop it from happening in the first place. be conscientious of your seat companion and share that arm rest. if it's too crowded with your bag there, it should probably go in the overhead compartment or under the seat. doesn't anyone pay attention to flight attendants anymore?

shhh!

next on the list and a personal pet peeve of mine are those persons who appear to have no volume control. when you're in a public setting people shouldn't have to endure graphic retellings of a latest sexual conquest, nor should they be broadcasting their political, religious or personal view on any other subject other than the person that is closest to them and certainly not loud enough to interrupt private dinner conversation. this applies not only to restaurants but again to forms of transportation. an example of this would be a young, mid-20's guy who announced from as he boarded the bus to his gang at the back how he had just taken the best piss ever. while i'm sure it did feel great, are we still in the 9th grade that we need to share with all? indoor voices, if you please. no wonder my ipod is always in need of charging.

what's the holdup?

these people seem to be everywhere in life but trying to polite and wait in a line can be difficult to maintain when travelling. picture this if you can. 25-30 people standing and waiting to get off for some air and water but are unable to exit. is the door closed? are we waiting to come to a full stop? no. we're waiting for one woman to finish getting her wallet from the overhead compartment. that's not really my problem however. the problem was she wasn't paying attention to what she was doing because she was speaking to a still-seated friend while blindly fumbling about. after about a minute she's finally got it but doesn't move and continues to talk. a gentle yet firm push on the arm soon snapped her out of her reverie and got the line moving. yes, you're caught up in new people, places and pleasures but remember you're not the only one.

one more thing i wanted to ask...

this classification of people might be a sub-category of the line stopper but i believe it is worthy of it's own distinction. question-askers. now, there is nothing wrong with asking a few questions of hotels, tour operators and the like, but there are some who act as if they're conducting an interview for time magazine's person of the year. they seem to ask all the basic, inane and obvious questions before they start in on some real beaut's.

What brand is the free bottle of water on the bus?

Would it be cheaper to book 2 days, or 3 days?

Will I be able to shower on the bus?

Will the bus be able to take us to the island?

and so on. again, i have no problem with some quick, concise and critical questions because raising your comfort level with a foreign land is what it's all about. better still, why not do some research about the country you're visiting before you go? otherwise, read the brochure.

cleanliness is next to happy travellers

i don't think anyone really sets out to be the stinky kid on the bus, yet there is always at least one individual who smells a little ripe. before you set off to your next destination, check how long it might be before your next shower. maybe you should opt to wear a t-shirt instead of that tiger beer tank top that hasn't left your back in three days. if you've been walking around all day, do yourself and your fellow travellers a favour and keep those sneakers on. lastly, if you're not on the beach keep your shirt on guys. nothing looks greasier than a tourist walking through a hotel, sans chemise, when it's raining outside and 19 degrees.

part-time philanthropy

this is a subject which is touchy and many people feel either one way or the other. the face of poverty in some countries can be hard to look at. the problem is that people from developing countries see the way foreigners spend money and what we have (cameras, nice clothes, watches) plus the fact that we are visiting their country makes us seem rich millionaires. while we do enjoy a better quality of life in some ways, most of us have to work 50 weeks to afford a 2 week getaway each year. this doesn't seem to factor in which then of course leads to begging and panhandling. many travellers think they are doing a great service to someone is they give a beggar money or food, but it might actually do more damage. it can lead to a life of dependency on money as many get more than they make from working, which in turn affects a national economy and so on. it becomes a vicious circle often creating more social problems. personally, i don't give money out as a rule. it's tough sometimes, but in the end it does only feed someone for a few meals. as far as food is concerned, it's better because you know that they're eating it instead of drinking, smoking or injecting your cash but is defined by the same principles of giving cash. if you really want to help, donate to agencies/organizations in the area who will know how to delegate money. better still is to donate your time. teach a class about your culture and life, or your travels at a local school. play basketball with some children from an orphanage. help out in a more positive and constructive way. not only are you helping people build better lives, but you're also promoting goodwill as well as bridging cultural gaps by creating understanding. i'm not trying to sound high-handed, but an old proverb comes to mind.

if you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day.
if you teach a man to fish, you feed him for life.

sizing up the competition

the last thing i wish to touch on is again something that pretty much happens any where, but it seems to be more noticeable while travelling. it's probably because we have a lot of free time. while taking these holidays into the unknown, people often put a romantic spin on things but often forget to mention that there is a lot of time wasted waiting to get somewhere. airports, bus terminals, train stations...let's face it, it is sometimes about the destination and not the journey. so, how do we all pass the time? we people watch. i have to say, it's a great way to pass the time but sometimes it feels as though we're sizing up one another. clothing, hairstyles, body size all comes under close scrutiny. don't say you've never done it because you know very well that you have. at least once. it's human nature to compare and contrast our contemporaries. the only pearl of wisdom i wish to supplant is to be discreet. switching to another language doesn't disguise the fact you're talking about someone. ditto the whisper-while-looking approach. if your mother ever told you anything, i'm guessing she said that if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all... or at least come and sit next to me.

i think that about covers it all. i hope that if you are thinking of taking a first trip, or even if you're a seasoned wayfarer you can take something from this. really, all it takes to make every trip a successful one is to make sure you pack in your common sense alongside your camera, passport and plane tickets...you and everyone else will be happy that you did.