visa victorious

as you can plainly guess from the title of this entry this blog is about a subject every expat living in Taiwan is all too familiar with...the VISA. A much needed document which allows people from around the globe certain freedoms and privileges whilst working, traveling and living abroad. Every country has its' own rules to regulate the flow of people into their borders and taiwan is no exception to this. before i get into the workings of the VISA, let me go back to the heady days of august 2004. as many of you are aware, i stupidly (albeit drunkenly), left my bag in a taxi losing in one, fell swoop my mobile, MP3 player (elisha's MP3 player), house keys, digital camera and of course, my passport. i spent the next 2 months struggling through the many bureaucratic obstacles which lay in the path of an individual who loses a document of such significance. luckily, i was granted a VISA from the taiwan immigration office, giving me a year to live here and forgoing any visits to the VISA office in hong kong, a place many fear to tread. so, for the last year i have been leaving the country every 60 days as stipulated in my VISA conditions. i posess a coveted, multiple-entry which means a quick hello and goodbye to another country and it's all good for another 60 days.

the golden age had come to an end. my VISA was going to expire for good on october 8th 2005 which meant that if i chose to remain in taiwan, i would finally have to make the trip to "the office." horror stories and expat urban legends flashed thru my mind as the day drew nigh. visions of a drab, soulless room with queues as far as the eye could...a baby crying somewhere in the distance, a bastard most likely, mewling in empathy as its' mother was denied entry because her photos we too small or, some other utterly absurd bureaucratic bamboozlement. enough for me to start shaking and break out in a cold sweat. these thoughts were only compounded as friends offered "support."

"look at it this way mate. worse comes to worse, you've got your return ticket to canada and you can just go home."

yeah, you're right. I thought to myself. and then i can really live out my lifelong dream of moving back to hanover, living with my parents and working @ butterball snapping turkey wings. at least until i save up enough for my own place, then i can snatch up that choice apartment above stedman's i've had my eye on for years...hope it's available.

finally, the week before the day of truth. decisions to be made. told my boss the sitch and got the days off and an advance to go buy the ticket. went on saturday to buy what could very well be a one-way ticket out of my life in taiwan. met with hassle. the ticket price was nearly double what it had been in the past. also, it couldn't be processed until monday which meant flying out wednesday.

F.B = fat broad

me: "sorry, but i need to go monday. it's crucial.

F.B: "it has to be wednesday. today is saturday and it takes 2 business days."

me: "2 business days? ok, no paper ticket then, just an e-ticket."

F.B: "nope. still wednesday. (smiling)

me: "but i can't go wednesday. i have to go on monday or bust!" (rage building)

F.B: "nope. still wednesday." (still smiling)

me: "unacceptable." (seething cauldron of rage)

F.B: "maybe they can help you @ our head office." (smile fading)

me: "maybe they can." (sneer, about face, fists clenched while walking away)

it's getting better by the moment, huh? so leesh and i hop in a cab to the head office. 1/2 hour and $150NT cab ride later, i had what i was after and went for some kebabs to calm myself.

monday rolled around. t-minus 24 hours until do-or-die time. i sat bolt upright in bed as the alarm went off, and began going thru the motions of a normal day but, underneath i was in a state of catlike readiness. the hours passed by with me checking my watch every 5 minutes, making it crawl by. soon it was time to catch the bus and then my flight. arrived well ahead of time only to find out my plane was delayed an hour. then, after an hour they announced yet another delay as the plane was refueled. then after that delay, it was announced they would be changing planes. ARRGH! serenity now. soon enough i was once again flying across the taiwan straight into uncertainty. my eyes misted over as i watched my beloved taiwan fade into a hazy glow in the ether. would i ever see you again, my beautiful island?

arriving in hk around 12:30 quickly caught the express train into kowloon and checked into my hotel, falling in and out of an uneasy sleep.

my alarm goes off playing the "latin loops" ringtone which irritates me so but ensures full wakeupedness. quickly realizing i should be the first one in line @ the office i rush through my shower, pack my shit and smoke a hasty cigarette before checking out. asking the concierge for directions, i joined the morning rush to get to my destination; the immigration tower, located in wan chai, hong kong island. 3 stops later, i was queuing 8th in line and feeling alright. i was on time and would be able to get my VISA processed post-haste, pickup later that day and ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life could go on. about 20 minutes later, i'm looking at my watch and wondering why the line isn't moving. another 15 minutes pass and we still aren't moving. what's going on here? the sign says it opens @ 8:45 and it's 9:20. is this some kind of sick, mind game? are they testing my patience? i think they're testing my patience. HOW DARE THEY TEST ME LIKE SOME SORT OF HUM...

then a man bearing gifts in an accordian folder shows up and comes to ask what forms we needed. at last! now we're off to the race. soon it was my turn to be given a form and...

*G.B = gift bearer

ME: "i need the form to apply for a visitor visa to enter into taiwan, please."

G.B. "excuse me?"

ME: "i need the form to apply for a visitor visa to enter into taiwan, please."

G.B: "i'm sorry sir. but you can only apply for hong kong visas here."

Me: "what? where do i apply for taiwan visas then?"

G.B: "hmmm. i have no idea."

this is the point in the blog where i will use the first of my 50 cent words for the day dear reader; i felt exasperated. from head to toe. i left the line and went outside for a concilatory cigarette. many things waxed and waned in my mind but, one phrase kept surfacing above all others.

what the fuck am i going to do now?

despairing but not yet defeated, i grabbed hold of the nearest police officer and told him my conundrum. he was kind enough to make a few telephone inquiries for me and then told me to call this number for the canadian consulate. of course! why didn't i think of that? dashing to the nearest payphone, i punched up the digits. no answer and now no change either as the greedy phone ate my coin. not wasting a moment more, i backtracked into the MTR and scanned for an information kiosk. couldn't see one, so i asked a random dude who worked security just for laughs. i struck gold.

"just go to the lippo centre. one stop away, exit b3. tower 1, 40th floor."

i had to summon every iota of control i had left not to kiss the man full on the lips. after i nearly wrenched his arm off with an overzealous handshake, i hurried to my second destination; the lippo tower. upon entry, shared an elevator with another foreigner from taiwan was also applying for his VISA. we chatted amiably while waiting for our numbers to be called, 11 and 12 respectively. i filled out the application form as rapidly as possible, affixed my photos and re-checked my needed documentation.

1 -passport. check.
2 - 2 photos. checkity-check.
3 - application. checkity-check-check.
4 - proof of financial support while visiting the republic of china. shitballs.

dread filled me once again. now i really am screwed as i rehearsed what i was to do when the woman no doubt asked me for the one thing i didn't have in my bag o' goodies. this one crucial document. this one piece of paper which stood between me and my muchly needed VISA. bing! number 11, please proceed to counter number 3. no! i'm not ready! i screamed in my head. what should i do? cry? smile meekly? shit my pants? a combination of all the above? i sit down and smile @ the lady...

C.L: "documents, please."
ME: "sure thing." (gulp.)

i hold my breath. she's serious faced now. perusing my application form with a stone-hard glare. now she's nodding. so far ok. now looking @ my passport. ok, but just wait. she's looking for something else. it's got to be the financial statement. still looking, now she's rifling my papers. now she's looking @ me, smiling. can't tell if it's a good smile or, guess-wha-at? you're-up-shit-creek-without-a-paddle smile. ohgodohgodohgodohgod...

C.L: "sir, why do you want to apply for a new VISA?"
ME: "mygirlfriendscontractdoesntenduntildecemberandiwanttoremainintaiwanuntilshedoesbecause
wevebeentogetherfor10yearsandidontknowwhatilldoificantstayandalso-" (i fire out like a machine gun)
C.L: "sorry. what i mean to say is that your current VISA is still valid as long as you enter before october 8th. you will get 60 days from your point of entry"

ME: "come again?"

C.L: "your current VISA is still valid as long as you enter before october 8th. if you apply for a new VISA today, it will cancel this one."

ME: "GET OUTTA TOWN!!"

SIDEBAR; you see, before i left i had read some literature on the do's and don'ts of VISAS> my findings turned out the same thing the lady had just told me. there are 2 very important dates on a VISA, with 2 very different distinctions. #1 - ENTER BEFORE DATE -not the same thing as an expiry date, but sort of. as long as i enter the country before the date, i will still be granted the same stay as usual, even tho i won't be able to do it again after the enter before date. #2 - DURATION OF STAY - self-explanatory. i had come to these very conclusions and even confirmed it with a few people to ensure i wasn't just being liberal with my interpretation. to triple check, called the foreign affairs police and they said just the opposite. my dreams dashed to bits on the rocks, so my saga began. END OF SIDEBAR.

yet anoter person i wanted to kiss on the lips only this time it was a quarter inch of bulletproof plexiglass which restrained me. i was dumbfounded. could it really be true? feeling weak in the knees, i sat down for a moment and waited for the other foreigner i had been chattin with earlier. i had to share my news. as i told him, it slowly sank in and here comes my 2nd 50 cent word of the day. elation.

a tremendous weight was being lifted off my shoulders. i actually may have even cried out WOOHOO!. man, it was great to be alive. after all of my worry, the racing around, the misteps, it was all for naught. you would think that would bother me? i couldn't have cared less. it was a labour, no doubt, but it was a labour of love for a life in a country i will never take for granted again.

now free for the rest o' the day and from the shackles of stress, Stuart (my new friend) and i decided to take in some sights. went up to the peak, victoria park, wanchai and hong kong park. i had been to hk before but he hadn't so we did a lot of walking and talking. it was good day tho as hk is amazing. life was amazing. my 3 hour wait in the airport the night before was amazing. the mystery meat sandwich i just ate was amazing. the old man sitting beside me, chewing with his mouth open and hogging all the armrest space is amazing. everything is amazing.

so now i'm back on the plane home..yes, taiwan is my home and i feel really good saying that after i nearly had to say goodbye only 24 short hours ago. she may be 'a little hectic at times, she may be a little dirty, hell even seedy in spots but for better or, for worse she's still my home.